Slumber Party Madness
by AlienEeeter
Summary: Ron spies on the girls at their sleepover and gets more than he barganed for.


Slumber Party Madness

A/N: So is writing teen sex comedies respectable? Probably not.

'Hogwarts Girls Nite' read the invitation. Ron wrenched it out of Hermione's hands. "Hey, that's not yours!"

"But I want to go to the slumber party!" He read aloud from the flier. " 'Come for a night of food, fun, gossip and more! Wear your cutest pajamas, undies or lingerie. Meet us in the Room of Requirement at nine o' clock Saturday." Hermione, I want to go!"

"You weren't supposed to see that." She yanked the paper away from him and stuffed it into her pocket. "Tell any of the guys, and you wont like the curse I put on you, I guarantee it. This is for girls only."

"That is so not fair."

It was midnight. Ron had been true to his word, had not told anyone else about the slumber party. However, he did have a plan. He had his six-pack of butterbeer and was ready to be entertained.

Ron walked back and forth in front of the door to the room of requirement, concentrating on what he really needed. At the third pass, he stopped and looked. There was now a peep hole in the door, level with his eye should he sit down on the. "Brilliant," he muttered.

He settled in front of the door to peer through the hole, and found a scene pleasing to any teenage boys eye. Hermione was dressed in a tiny camisole and short-shorts—no bra. Parvati had on men's boxers and a thin undershirt he was positive he could see her nipples through, her sister was in more modest flannel pajamas. Luna Lovegood was wearing something pink and silky that hung too big on her skinny frame, but for once no one was making fun of her. Ginny was wearing—oh god. His sister was wearing a short see-through nightgown and a thong. Thankfully her bra was solid colored.

Ron almost turned away, but Parvati's nipples called to him. Lavender wasn't wearing much either. He dug into his pocket for an extendable ear. Seeing wasn't enough, he had to hear the action too.

"Okay, everybody! It's time for truth or dare!" Padma shouted, and all of the girls gathered in a circle on the floor, settling down on big purple sleeping bags and clutching bowls of popcorn. Some of the girls held wine glasses. Parvati was drinking straight from the bottle. "I just warn you all that this is magical truth or dare, which means that you are held to the truth or the dare, no matter what. Anyone who breaks the vow will be terribly cursed."

"You will not," Ginny protested. "You'll be jinxed, and it'll just be a little one."

"Okay, fine. The point is, there are consequences. Who goes first?"

"I will." Lavender volunteered, sipping her wine. "I choose…Eloise!" She pointed to the fat girl sitting opposite her in the circle. Eloise Midgen's spots had finally cleared up, so she was now presentable, but still fat. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Who do you like?"

Eloise sipped on her wine. "To fuck or marry?"

The other girls laughed. "Both," Lavender replied with a grin.

"Well, if we were going on looks, and who'd be best in bed, Draco Malfoy, hands down." The room squealed. "What? You guys have all heard the same stories I have. The boy is hung like a horse." Ron rolled his eyes. Those weren't the stories he'd heard. "But for a real relationship? Ron Weasley."

More laughing as Ron almost spit out his butterbeer. "My brother! Why?" Ginny crowed.

"Well, I always look at how a boy reacts to his mother. Your brother is a whipped little boy. He'd be easy to order around." More laughing. Ron sighed. I am not whipped….am I?

"Okay, okay." Eloise put down her glass and scanned the room. "Loony Lovegood. Truth or dare?"

Luna's head shot up. She had been studying the floor very intently. "Dare."

"Remember," Lavender warned. "It's gotta stay in this room."

"Why? That's a stupid rule. Luna. I dare you to profess your secret love to Professor Snape on Monday."

"Okay." Luna shrugged. "I was planning to do that anyway." She returned to her study of the floor. Ron laughed.

"Um, Luna? It's your turn. Ask someone truth or dare."

Luna gazed around the room. "Hermione. Truth or Dare."

"Um…truth. But nothing too horrible."

Luna thought for a moment. "How many of the rumors about Viktor Krum and you are true?"

Hermione turned red. "Most of them. But we are not secretly engaged, as Witch Weekly suggested, and we never went all the way." She paused. "Just mostly." More screams, and Ron could feel jealously building. But then Lavender leaned over to take the wine bottle from Parvati, and her got a wonderful view of her cleavage, and it was okay again.

"Lavender. Truth or dare?"

"You know I always pick truth."

"What did you do to get detention last week?"

"Please don't make me tell you that."

"Answer the question or get cursed."

"Fine, fine. I got caught making out with Anthony Goldstein in the library after hours."

Gasps all around the room. "But what about Seamus?" Ginny asked.

"What he won't know won't hurt him. And no one is going to say anything. Right?"

Ron chuckled. He wasn't bound to their female code of conduct. Seamus would be informed first thing in the morning. He started on his second butterbeer.

A few more confessions of love from Hanna Abbot and Susan Bones, and then it was Padma's turn. She chose dare. Susan Bones grinned. "Dare huh? I think it's time for a little twincest." Ron choked on his drink and started coughing. No one in the room noticed.

"Twincest? What's twin—ohh. Oh no. No way."

"Just a kiss."

"Nuh-uh," Paravati agreed. "I'm not bailing my sister out of a curse."

With her words, Padma's nose began to grow large, an engorgement charm being the unspoken punishment of the game. They all started laughing at her. "Fix it Hermione!" Padma begged as it began to fill her face. The girls waited until it got a little bit bigger before Hermione put it right again.

"That was mean," Parvati told Susan, who was still giggling.

"Sorry. I just wanted to see what kind of curse she got."

Padma frowned. "Well then. Lets keep this game interesting. Ginny?"

"Dare. Better make it interesting."

Padma grinned. "Oh, I will. First. Everyone has to agree to go along with this one, okay. It's the only way it'll work." They all rolled their eyes but agreed. "Okay then." She grabbed the wine bottled and chugged the last few swallows, then set it down on it's side in the middle of the circle. "Okay Ginny. Spin."

Oh great. My first live lesbian kiss, and it's my sister. God, this is disappointing.

Ginny raised her eyebrows. "Okay." Her wand was sitting near her bag, and she reached for it, causing the bottle to spin quickly. Faster and faster until it was a blur.

"That's cheating," Hannah Abbot said. Ginny made the bottle stop abruptly, pointing at Parvati.

"I've said it before, and I'll say it again," Parvati said with a small smile. "You have wonderful taste in women, Weasley."

Ginny had moved over to the other girl. "You are so full of yourself, Patil."

They embraced in a long kiss—with tongue. Ron couldn't help but be fascinated, despite the inclusion of his little sister. However, when they didn't break apart, indeed, they pulled each other closer, Ron and the other girls grew uneasy. He almost looked away when his sister snaked her hand under Parvati's top.

"Um, guys?" Hermione said uncertainly. They continued to his for another moment before pulling apart. (But not very far apart.) "Is there something you want to tell us?"

Both girls grinned and held hands. Ron chugged his butterbeer. I think its time for me to get out of here. He stood up and opened another bottle as he walked. Mum's gonna be pissed when she hears about this.


End file.
